“To lose a friend is the greatest of all evils, but endeavor to rejoice that you possessed him rather than to mourn his loss.”
Seneca, Roman philosopher and statesman

A friend of mine passed away recently. Unfortunately, at my age there’s nothing really unusual about that. After all, the only certainties in life are death, taxes, and dishonest politicians!

We’d spent countless hours together—probably not a week went by that we didn’t hang out. But the sad fact is this: that relationship was well over fifty years ago. We were childhood friends. And that was the last time I saw him.

Earlier this year, I wrote about the importance of friendships. Making them and sustaining them are both important. But we let go of some, maybe out of necessity, or because the circumstances of our lives change.

In this case, we’d lost touch with one another. I had no idea what field he’d gone into, and I suspect he was just as clueless about me. As it turns out, he’d had a stellar career in music. Without going into details, he was a Professor Emeritus at a major university. It warmed my heart to read the testimonies of those he’d left behind describing his accomplishments and the ways he touched people’s lives.

But it also saddened me that I wasn’t aware of this information when he was alive. How often do we learn things about people—even those we’re still close to—after they die? When it’s too late to “pick their brains” and learn more about them?

Our lives are enriched not just by friendships, but by the accomplishments of our friends. That’s not to say we live vicariously through those successes. No, we don’t. We simply celebrate what our friends achieve. Our lives are the sum total of not just our own experiences, but those of the people we’re close to.

With friends we can share in one another’s successes and support each other in our failures or in times of illness and loss. Friends are a treasure that comes without a price tag. In fact, a true friend is priceless. That begs the question: Why do we let friendships die or get lost?

We do move on to new stages of our lives, and we make new friends in the process. Letting go of an earlier, valuable friendship, however, is a high price to pay. We justify it, sometimes rightfully so, by thinking life gets busy and complicated. But there comes a time when that feels lame.

I need to do better. Do you? If so, maybe we can resolve to reach out to a friend from long ago and reconnect. A hand-written note, a call, an email, a text—anything to re-establish contact.

All due respect to Seneca, but wouldn’t it be better to rekindle a long-lost “possession” than to mourn a loss?

Rest in peace, Johnny.

(Pixabay photo courtesy of Sunriseforever)