“In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.”
—Khalil Gibran, author and poet

Three years ago, then Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy announced his concern about a rising epidemic. It wasn’t hypertension, heart disease, cancer, or the re-emergence of Covid-19. It was loneliness.

Even before the Covid pandemic of 2020-2021, adults in the U.S. were reporting loneliness as a personal problem at a rate nearing fifty percent. It’s only gotten worse since then, especially with the work-from-home trend and baby boomers aging out of the job market.

But don’t we all crave time alone, when we’re free to do as we wish? Yes, to an extent. Too much time alone, however, is statistically linked to premature death, heart attack, and hypertension. And then there’s the association with depression and other mental health issues.

We’re not designed for solitude. God recognized that at the Creation, when he made woman from man (Genesis 2:18, 21-23). Of course, it was necessary for procreation, but He also wanted man to have a “helper” to share in the bounty of the Garden.

Men are particularly vulnerable to the effects of loneliness. They’re less likely than women to make the effort to meet socially with other people, go out for a meal, or just have coffee. Men are also less inclined to reach out to a friend in the event of a crisis, and are more likely to gather with large groups, where intimacy and trust don’t come into play.

When the son of best-selling author and actor Andrew McCarthy observed that his dad really didn’t have any friends, it prompted McCarthy to go on a journey to reconnect with other men. Out of that trip came the just-released book, Who Needs Friends? (Grand Central Publishing; March 2026). Turns out, we all do.

A recent Wall Street Journal article (WSJ) discussed the number of friends we need. In short, more when we’re young, fewer when we’re busy with family and career, and then more in later life. If, in retirement, friendships aren’t maintained or established, the above-mentioned comorbidities are much more likely to come into play.

Is there a magic number? It varies from person to person, but suffice it to say that, on average, most of us only have three to five people who are true friends—friends we’d call any hour of the day or night for any problem or concern. One third of us have up to nine friends, and thirteen percent have ten or more.

In an odd twist, notwithstanding today’s technology that allows us to reach people around the world via text message, email, or, heaven forbid, a phone call, we’ve become less connected to each other and more connected to our screen devices. Often, what we read on those screens is far less useful than meaningful dialogue with another person.

So, how many friends do you, or I, need? The answer will likely be different for each of us. But what is the same is that each of us needs to reconnect with long-lost friends, reach out to our current friends, and/or make new ones.

Doing so won’t just prolong our lives, it will enrich them too.