“And the kindness that you show every day, will help someone along their way.”
–“Try a Little Kindness” (Glen Campbell, 1970)
Chris Sirianni is a restauranteur in Erie, Pa. who has achieved some notoriety for posting a sign on the front door of his eatery. The sign reads, BE KIND OR LEAVE.
His staff was treated so discourteously, he had to do something. Apparently, it worked. But, isn’t that a bit sad–not that it worked, but that he had to resort to such a warning?
After all, doesn’t that sound like something on the list from the “Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten” poster?
There’s no question in my mind, and likely yours, that society today is tainted by hatred and intolerance. Individually–yes, to some extent–but collectively, for sure.
People are just downright ugly to other people, and we’ve come to expect it and accept it. I do not believe this is the way we were intended to treat one another.
It’s easy to blame our leaders, who display it publicly, and the media, who pick and choose the side they want to take and demonize the other.
Every issue seems reduced to a binary choice. Just pick the issue and test it for yourself. Some of the preeminent today include:
• Immigration/borders. If you’re for nations having their sovereign borders, you must be anti-immigrant. If you’re for open borders, you must want illegal immigrants and drug runners to populate our country.
• Covid19/masks. If you’re against masks, you want people to get sick and die. If you’re for masks, you want to be controlled and manipulated by the government.
• The economy. If you support Biden’s “Build Back Better” (awesome alliteration!) initiative, you must want our country to become socialist. If you’re against unending government handouts, you want people to starve, lose their homes, etc.
• Universal health care. If you’re for it, you’re for socialized medicine. If you’re against it, you’re either in the pocket of the private insurers or you just want people to wither and die from lack of access.
• Supreme Court packing. If you support it, you want the people in Congress to have more influence on the Court. If you’re against it, you’re pro-life and anti-women.
• Climate change. If you believe in it, you’re a mush-headed tree hugger who wants to destroy jobs in the fossil fuel industry. If you doubt it, you’re a knuckle-dragger cheering for the ozone layer to be depleted so we can all be incinerated.
• Congressional term limits. Whoops–never mind. Everyone’s for term limits…except members of Congress!
There are more issues, but you get my point. It’s likely we’re all guilty of adopting one side of some of these examples as “gospel.” I know I am.
Isn’t it amazing, and sad, that a major health threat like the pandemic has become politicized? And not just in Washington, DC. I know families whose summer vacation plans changed due to disagreements over Covid19 vaccines and mask usage.
And don’t you dare bring up politics at the table this Thanksgiving. If you do, the host/hostess will have a lot of leftover turkey and dressing!
We all know we can do better. It requires listening to and respecting others’ opinions on issues. Ultimately, we have to be able to compromise.
The Bible says “…the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Galatians 5: 22-23 (NIV translation).”
You don’t have to be a Christian to believe these virtues could benefit all of us. Right? But, just like fruit growing on trees, if we don’t choose to use these “fruits”–just leave them “hanging” there–they rot and become useless.
Kindness seems like a good place to start. Google Glen Campbell’s lyrics and read them. Fifty years ago, he was spot on.
It’s been said that who we are is defined by how we act when we think no one’s looking. That’s one of the dangers of social media, and one of the explanations for our behavior while driving. We think we’re anonymous.
I firmly believe that some of the parents, so appreciative of what I did for their children at the office, would have flipped me off or cussed me out that same day, if we were on the road home and they took exception to my driving, but didn’t realize it was me at the wheel.
I mean no disrespect. I’ve behaved while driving in ways I’m not proud of.
Remember, sometimes we think we’re invisible or anonymous when we aren’t. Often, our children and grandchildren are watching–and learning from our behavior.
No one’s perfect. All of us, no matter how virtuous we think we might be, can do better.
I’m going to try. I hope you’ll join me.
10 Comments
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“And the kindness that you show every day, will help someone along their way.”
–“Try a Little Kindness” (Glen Campbell, 1970)
Chris Sirianni is a restauranteur in Erie, Pa. who has achieved some notoriety for posting a sign on the front door of his eatery. The sign reads, BE KIND OR LEAVE.
His staff was treated so discourteously, he had to do something. Apparently, it worked. But, isn’t that a bit sad–not that it worked, but that he had to resort to such a warning?
After all, doesn’t that sound like something on the list from the “Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten” poster?
There’s no question in my mind, and likely yours, that society today is tainted by hatred and intolerance. Individually–yes, to some extent–but collectively, for sure.
People are just downright ugly to other people, and we’ve come to expect it and accept it. I do not believe this is the way we were intended to treat one another.
It’s easy to blame our leaders, who display it publicly, and the media, who pick and choose the side they want to take and demonize the other.
Every issue seems reduced to a binary choice. Just pick the issue and test it for yourself. Some of the preeminent today include:
• Immigration/borders. If you’re for nations having their sovereign borders, you must be anti-immigrant. If you’re for open borders, you must want illegal immigrants and drug runners to populate our country.
• Covid19/masks. If you’re against masks, you want people to get sick and die. If you’re for masks, you want to be controlled and manipulated by the government.
• The economy. If you support Biden’s “Build Back Better” (awesome alliteration!) initiative, you must want our country to become socialist. If you’re against unending government handouts, you want people to starve, lose their homes, etc.
• Universal health care. If you’re for it, you’re for socialized medicine. If you’re against it, you’re either in the pocket of the private insurers or you just want people to wither and die from lack of access.
• Supreme Court packing. If you support it, you want the people in Congress to have more influence on the Court. If you’re against it, you’re pro-life and anti-women.
• Climate change. If you believe in it, you’re a mush-headed tree hugger who wants to destroy jobs in the fossil fuel industry. If you doubt it, you’re a knuckle-dragger cheering for the ozone layer to be depleted so we can all be incinerated.
• Congressional term limits. Whoops–never mind. Everyone’s for term limits…except members of Congress!
There are more issues, but you get my point. It’s likely we’re all guilty of adopting one side of some of these examples as “gospel.” I know I am.
Isn’t it amazing, and sad, that a major health threat like the pandemic has become politicized? And not just in Washington, DC. I know families whose summer vacation plans changed due to disagreements over Covid19 vaccines and mask usage.
And don’t you dare bring up politics at the table this Thanksgiving. If you do, the host/hostess will have a lot of leftover turkey and dressing!
We all know we can do better. It requires listening to and respecting others’ opinions on issues. Ultimately, we have to be able to compromise.
The Bible says “…the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Galatians 5: 22-23 (NIV translation).”
You don’t have to be a Christian to believe these virtues could benefit all of us. Right? But, just like fruit growing on trees, if we don’t choose to use these “fruits”–just leave them “hanging” there–they rot and become useless.
Kindness seems like a good place to start. Google Glen Campbell’s lyrics and read them. Fifty years ago, he was spot on.
It’s been said that who we are is defined by how we act when we think no one’s looking. That’s one of the dangers of social media, and one of the explanations for our behavior while driving. We think we’re anonymous.
I firmly believe that some of the parents, so appreciative of what I did for their children at the office, would have flipped me off or cussed me out that same day, if we were on the road home and they took exception to my driving, but didn’t realize it was me at the wheel.
I mean no disrespect. I’ve behaved while driving in ways I’m not proud of.
Remember, sometimes we think we’re invisible or anonymous when we aren’t. Often, our children and grandchildren are watching–and learning from our behavior.
No one’s perfect. All of us, no matter how virtuous we think we might be, can do better.
I’m going to try. I hope you’ll join me.
10 Comments
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Great points, Tim! Also a great reminder that I need to lead by example and “clean up my act” by exercising more grace and patience with others (even when behind the wheel of my car!).
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My cousin Don responded to a post of mine – I had the opportunity to meet Dr. (Ron) Paul at Libertarian gatherings in Cary one Sunday at the Golden Corral at the Cary Town Center we were discussing general politics. I asked him “Dr. Paul, Are members of Congress as corrupt as they appear in media?” Dr. Paul paused and reflected, and to my surprise, said “Don, not really in my opinion. In many ways they reflect our society. Some are corrupt and there to make money in the name of a cause, some are sincere in their beliefs. Not necessarily better or worst than society as a whole”.
Your blog and Don’s seem to be in agreement. We, as a society, have become to social media addicted. Collectively, we (including me) make judgement calls on appearance and our limited vision.
I try to do better, but fail way to often. -
To quote a wise man, “Untimately , we have to be able to compromise”. The Founding Fathers were able to accomplish this in a nation struggling to survive as they moved from the weak government of the Articles of Confederation to the stronger, but not perfect, Constitution. Compromises by representatives from slave and free states and agricultural and manufacturing states were able to agree on a better form of government despite significant moral, economic and political differences. The end result was not perfect, but without compromise the United States might very well not have survived.
Without more kindness and respect for others I fear for the direction we are headed but, being an optimist, I believe most of us are kind and can learn to compromise. We all just need to try a little harder.
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This is your best blog yet. Well done!
At work, I often find that kindness is one of the most effective ways to disarm a situation before it becomes a situation.
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Hi, Tim. Some really great thoughts in your post. I’ve often thought our culture’s diminished sense of kindness is folks’ reluctance to inject a greater sense of discernment into their thought process. Some time back I was introduced to an acronym for the word THINK: If it’s not Thoughtful, Honest, Intelligent, Honest or Kind, chances are I’m not gonna say it. It’s a nice filter to use before engaging i or responding to what others have said or done……
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Tim, this may have been your best blog so far. It’s a whole lot easier to smile and say hello than to always frown and grunt. I totally believe that the bombardment of social media that is fueled by political jargon is one of the major problems in our society. It’s even got to a point that if you look like you are aligned with a certain political party you are frowned upon. That’s the reason I do not participate in Facebook, Twitter and all these other social media sites that have turned into political forums….. don’t have time for that. I really don’t care what people had for lunch yesterday on Facebook or care about their hate laced political tirades. I’m an American conservative that loves his country an proud of it. Thanks Tim for having common sense and faith based readings. Heading to lunch in a few minutes with a smile and just hope they will be open.
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I loved everything about this post. Thank you for articulating so much of what and how I feel. Beautifully written.
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Tim, what a gift you have for getting to the heart of issues. This is your best yet! Thank you for all you do and have done to be a compass for those of us who look forward to your wise words, both in person and w/ your writing. You, dear friend, are cherished and loved. Thank you!
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We all need one of those T shirts that says “Kindness looks good on you”. Good thoughts, Tim, and as always, very well said!
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Excellent post Tim! One of my favs!
It takes a lot of energy to be unkind….but I’ve learned something as simple as a smile works wonders and takes very little energy!
Well done my friend!
Great points, Tim! Also a great reminder that I need to lead by example and “clean up my act” by exercising more grace and patience with others (even when behind the wheel of my car!).
My cousin Don responded to a post of mine – I had the opportunity to meet Dr. (Ron) Paul at Libertarian gatherings in Cary one Sunday at the Golden Corral at the Cary Town Center we were discussing general politics. I asked him “Dr. Paul, Are members of Congress as corrupt as they appear in media?” Dr. Paul paused and reflected, and to my surprise, said “Don, not really in my opinion. In many ways they reflect our society. Some are corrupt and there to make money in the name of a cause, some are sincere in their beliefs. Not necessarily better or worst than society as a whole”.
Your blog and Don’s seem to be in agreement. We, as a society, have become to social media addicted. Collectively, we (including me) make judgement calls on appearance and our limited vision.
I try to do better, but fail way to often.
To quote a wise man, “Untimately , we have to be able to compromise”. The Founding Fathers were able to accomplish this in a nation struggling to survive as they moved from the weak government of the Articles of Confederation to the stronger, but not perfect, Constitution. Compromises by representatives from slave and free states and agricultural and manufacturing states were able to agree on a better form of government despite significant moral, economic and political differences. The end result was not perfect, but without compromise the United States might very well not have survived.
Without more kindness and respect for others I fear for the direction we are headed but, being an optimist, I believe most of us are kind and can learn to compromise. We all just need to try a little harder.
This is your best blog yet. Well done!
At work, I often find that kindness is one of the most effective ways to disarm a situation before it becomes a situation.
Hi, Tim. Some really great thoughts in your post. I’ve often thought our culture’s diminished sense of kindness is folks’ reluctance to inject a greater sense of discernment into their thought process. Some time back I was introduced to an acronym for the word THINK: If it’s not Thoughtful, Honest, Intelligent, Honest or Kind, chances are I’m not gonna say it. It’s a nice filter to use before engaging i or responding to what others have said or done……
Tim, this may have been your best blog so far. It’s a whole lot easier to smile and say hello than to always frown and grunt. I totally believe that the bombardment of social media that is fueled by political jargon is one of the major problems in our society. It’s even got to a point that if you look like you are aligned with a certain political party you are frowned upon. That’s the reason I do not participate in Facebook, Twitter and all these other social media sites that have turned into political forums….. don’t have time for that. I really don’t care what people had for lunch yesterday on Facebook or care about their hate laced political tirades. I’m an American conservative that loves his country an proud of it. Thanks Tim for having common sense and faith based readings. Heading to lunch in a few minutes with a smile and just hope they will be open.
I loved everything about this post. Thank you for articulating so much of what and how I feel. Beautifully written.
Tim, what a gift you have for getting to the heart of issues. This is your best yet! Thank you for all you do and have done to be a compass for those of us who look forward to your wise words, both in person and w/ your writing. You, dear friend, are cherished and loved. Thank you!
We all need one of those T shirts that says “Kindness looks good on you”. Good thoughts, Tim, and as always, very well said!
Excellent post Tim! One of my favs!
It takes a lot of energy to be unkind….but I’ve learned something as simple as a smile works wonders and takes very little energy!
Well done my friend!