“Love is the only memory one never loses . . . because even if one loses his mind, the memory always remains in the heart.”

from The Romantic (Felix Alexander; 2014)

We know it’s coming, and we often joke about it and laugh it away, or try to. Memory loss. We wander into the pantry and wonder what we were looking for. Our glasses are missing, again . . . and sometimes they’re nestled on our noggin!

It’s during the holiday seasons of Thanksgiving and Christmas that memories flood our brains. Holidays from long ago, when times were different–happier for some but sadder for others.  Times when we were healthier or perhaps more financially secure. Or times of illness or loss, with those challenges now long since conquered.

And of course, the inevitable reality of life as we know it: memories of loved ones and friends who are no longer here. But they live on through those memories, and for that we can be thankful.

Any of us with dogs as pets would attest to the fact that they remember things. Reportedly, elephants as well, but we’ll have to take the zookeeper’s word for it. But as to the quality of animals’ memories, we’ll never know. Maybe rudimentary and survivalist, or perhaps simply Pavlovian. Of course, we assume humans have much more sophisticated, purposeful, and advanced memories.

Facts and figures are one thing, and are more important at certain stages of life: during our formal education years and, depending on what we do, our livelihoods. But we have something as basic as a Post-it Note to record what we need to remember, and something as advanced as an online search engine, where almost any fact, figure, or event can be located in seconds.

With age, Father Time’s pernicious effects begin to erode our memories–so called age-related memory loss. Much of it is inconsequential, as we retire and no longer have the need to remember things pertinent to our work lives. But personal memories live on, and not only do they not diminish in importance but they become even more essential for a fulfilled existence. It’s the loss of those memories that really matter.

And that speaks to the tragedy of senile dementia and Alzheimer’s Disease. Slowly, cherished and savored memories begin to fade, life becomes less joyful, and interpersonal relationships are altered. Think of a spouse looking into the empty eyes of someone they’ve built a life with. Or consider a friend from childhood who not only has forgotten shared experiences, but might not even recognize you now.

Our memory function is much like our health, our financial stability, our careers, our relationships–we don’t really appreciate it until we begin to lose it. It’s incumbent on us, then, to do everything in our power to keep it fine-tuned: reading, conversations, crossword puzzles, Wordle, Jeopardy!, Sudoku . . . the list goes on and on.

For most of us, mercifully, it will be the simple lapses I alluded to at the beginning of the piece. Nearly all of us will experience those, and better to laugh at them than to get frustrated, angry, or worried they represent the beginning of a more insidious process.

But if severe memory loss comes as an unwelcome intruder, pray for that individual, his or her family, and the medical research community searching for a cure, or at least a way to stall its impact. And remember, even when all else seems to have slipped away into the irretrievable recesses of one’s mind, somewhere in that person’s heart, love still remains.