“Talking is cheap, people follow like sheep; even though there is nowhere to go…”

— Silence is Golden (The Temeloes; 1967)

Granted, for a blog that’s all about words, it seems counterintuitive to discuss the importance of silence, but bear with me.

I just returned from nearly a week in the NC mountains with my family, spent hiking, fishing, reading, playing games, and just enjoying one another’s company. For several days, the television was never on. As a news junkie, I’m not signaling virtue on my part–truth be told, my granddaughter isn’t allowed to watch TV, so it wasn’t really an option! And, you know what? I didn’t really miss it.

We are bombarded with cable news, online news feeds, and social media posts, all of which spout opinion, speculation, and sometimes actual facts. Fox News or OAN might report on a news story that would likely be reported in an entirely different fashion on MSNBC or CNN. So, it’s incumbent on us to really listen to what’s said, analyze it, and determine its veracity.

One of the consequences of our tendency to focus on screen messaging is our lack of interpersonal communication. Who hasn’t witnessed a table of people dining in a restaurant, all with their noses stuck in their phones rather than talking with one another? I believe we need to get back to talking–and listening–to each other.

In her article titled “Reconciling When Our Politics are Polarized” (Wall Street Journal; November 25, 2020), Elizabeth Bernstein quotes the following statistics from a study at the Harvard Graduate School of Education: “67% of people believe it’s important to get along with people they disagree with politically…83% of the survey’s approximately 1,400 respondents said they could respect someone who disagrees with them politically as long as the person respected them back…80% said they would be ‘happy’ to engage in conversations with people who have opposing political views–as long as the conversation was considerate, with neither party belittling or disparaging the other.”

We’ve just survived another presidential election, and the negative ads and hate speech were, to my recollection, as bad as it’s ever been. Remember the first presidential debate–or shouting match–when Messrs. Trump and Biden yelled at and insulted each other, thereby accomplishing little other than embarrassing their families? My thought at the time: these are the two people asking for our vote for the highest office in the land? It seemed analogous to Attila the Hun and Lizzie Borden as the two finalists for Time’s Person of the Year!

Other than religion and the right to life debate, politics presents the greatest challenge to courteous and reasoned discourse. The Harvard study, however, suggests people are willing to give it a try.

Bernstein’s article also includes the following: “…we need to talk less and listen more–a lot more. Stop explaining your point of view and try to understand why the other person sees the world as they do.”

Have you ever noticed the words “listen” and “silent” contain the same letters? Coincidence? Maybe, but the point is we need to silence our voices and open our minds to hear and try to understand someone else’s perspective. This is an age-old problem. James, in his eponymous New Testament book, states “Know this, my dear brothers and sisters: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slower to grow angry” (James 1:19, Common English Bible). I suppose some problems just never go away!

Finally, back to our words. If we expect someone to honestly listen to us, we must not be disingenuous when we speak. It’s important that we state our opinion as clearly and accurately as possible. And, if we don’t have anything constructive to say, perhaps it’s wise to say nothing at all. As Abraham Lincoln once said, “It’s better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.” In that case, silence is as golden as it gets!