“We can change the world and make it a better place. It’s in our hands to make a difference.”

–Nelson Mandela

Recently, I had lunch with dear friends from my high school and medical school years. While waiting for our orders, we lapsed into a discussion about life today and how the world has changed. After a while, I asked, “Have we become our parents, talking about the proverbial walk to school in the snow, or are we yearning for a time when life was much simpler and more peaceful?

I think the latter.

The world has changed and continues to evolve in ways no one saw coming even ten or fifteen years ago–politically, morally, socially, and spiritually. And, the loudest voices cheer for such change, while those who pine for the days of respectful disagreement and dialogue remain silent for fear of whatever “-ist” label the cheerleaders would place on them.

I’ve been surprised and dismayed at how quickly some notions have caught traction. I suspect some folks drink the Kool Aid not because they like the taste, but because everyone else is gulping it. Groupthink can be a compelling force.

Back in the day, Lucy and Ricky couldn’t even be shown sharing the same bed, and they were a married couple–in real life, not just on television! Now, we’ve gone from prim and proper to preposterous. Try tuning into Netflix or reading general fiction and you’re likely to hear or read the “f” bomb dropped frequently and gratuitously. Not to sound prudish, but why? Why feel the need to cater to those who want more spice in their sauce? To get more streamers and more readers? Of course.

Is it just me, or does the violence on television, in movies, and in books seem a bit overcooked, too? Is that what it takes to sell a product? Perhaps, for some people, yes.

Speaking of violence, turn on your cable news channel of choice. The chaos we see on our streets and in our stores is not only commonplace now but, for all intents and purposes, accepted and forgiven. There was a time when such perpetrators would have been thrown in jail. No longer. And, in our silence, we’re somewhat complicit in what amounts to animalistic, anarchist behavior.

Doesn’t it feel like our society is dumbing down–that the lowest common denominator of behavior is now the accepted norm? It’s not just egregious public behavior; it’s also a lack of social graces and common niceties in personal interactions. Simple things like eye-to-eye contact, earnest dialogue, a firm handshake, or a handwritten note are almost relics of the past.

Why? In part, I think it’s the de-emphasis on family and faith. Not only has the definition of family changed, but marriage, parenting, gender identification, parents’ rights, citizenship, and morality, too. It’s a statistical fact that a child raised by a single, young mom has a far greater chance of failure in life, especially if the mom’s poor and black. Obviously, there are exceptions. As President Clinton used to say, these folks need a hand up, not a handout. But the handouts continue and attention to the root cause is ignored.

Houses of worship were once places where people went to get away from the hectic nature of their everyday lives and spend time in worship. Remember when politicians were the only ones we feared would campaign from the pulpit or push a particular social agenda? No longer. If you’re like me, you go to church to hear the Gospel or the tenets of your particular religion. Trust us to determine how our faith informs our lives, please.

I recently read about the State of Massachusetts denying a foster license to to a husband and wife who are devout Catholics. The reason: They’re too religious and not progressive (a misnomer!) enough in their views to be deemed suitable to foster children!

Things just seem way off kilter. I know I’m being judgmental, and the Bible I try to live by admonishes me to judge not or I, too, will be judged. But we all judge. You’re judging this blog as you read it. It’s human nature. I think “judge” in the Biblical sense means “condemn.” I do not advocate for condemning any person or lifestyle. But when I recognize something as antithetical to my Christian beliefs, I’ll say I disagree because I believe it’s wrong.

Believers know the story from the eighth chapter of The Gospel of John. An adulterous woman is brought to Jesus by an angry, self-righteous mob. No one condemns her or casts the first stone, however, because none of them is without their own sin. Neither are you … or I. Back to the story: Nor does Jesus condemn her but, when He sends her on her way, He says, “Go, and sin no more” (John 8:11). The lesson? Never condemn the person, just call out the sin–in as loving a way as possible.

Could we do that? Could we hold ourselves to a higher standard where we try to get along with those with whom we disagree? Not out of force, condemnation, shaming, or being outshouted, but out of a longing for peaceful coexistence?

I think we could and we should. The world would be a much better place.

*My dad’s last car was actually a Buick and it was a pretty decent ride!