“Teach your children well, their father’s hell did slowly go by. And feed them on your dreams, the one they pick’s the one you’ll know by…”
–“Teach Your Children Well” (Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young)
Over my almost four decades of pediatric practice, I encountered an untold number of families. Most were wonderful and highly functional. Sadly, too many were dysfunctional.
Offering advice to frustrated, confused, and/or angry parents and kids comes with the territory for pediatricians.
I’ve compiled a list of bromides–some original, some borrowed–I attempted to pass along to those parents or teach their children. Through their wisdom, parents and children often taught me. Trust me, as a parent, I needed to follow their advice, or my own…but didn’t always do so.
Alright, here you go:
• Don’t expect to get anything for nothing, and you won’t be disappointed.
• Anything worth having is worth working for.
• Celebrate being an American. By virtue of that alone, you’ve won life’s lottery.
• Practice your faith religiously. Your child is watching…and learning.
• Turn off all screens at family meals.
• Go outside and play. You’ll have a lifetime to sit in front of a screen.
• Be socially color blind.
• Be your child’s parent, not his or her friend.
• It’s okay to let your child experience failure. In the real world, that’s called “life.”
• Don’t live vicariously through your children.
• Don’t imitate a helicopter.
• The overwhelming majority of children will never be professional athletes. Get over it.
• Teach your child respect for his/her educational opportunities and teachers.
• Let your child see you reading.
• Give your child books…and a library card.
• Eat healthy, exercise, and get adequate sleep.
• Your weight is a reflection of calories consumed and calories burned. Don’t overthink it.
• Failing to plan is planning to fail.
• Teach the importance of convictions, and the evil of judgment.
• Don’t let busyness be a sin you create for yourself. It’s an awful burden.
• College isn’t for everyone. A trade is an honorable profession.
• Always give or pay back what you borrow.
• Look people in the eye when talking to them.
• Your handshake should be as trustworthy as a written contract.
• Don’t sweat the small stuff.
• It’s almost all small stuff…thankfully!
• Practice gratitude.
There are many, many more. Please leave a comment listing some of yours!
8 Comments
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“Teach your children well, their father’s hell did slowly go by. And feed them on your dreams, the one they pick’s the one you’ll know by…”
–“Teach Your Children Well” (Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young)
Over my almost four decades of pediatric practice, I encountered an untold number of families. Most were wonderful and highly functional. Sadly, too many were dysfunctional.
Offering advice to frustrated, confused, and/or angry parents and kids comes with the territory for pediatricians.
I’ve compiled a list of bromides–some original, some borrowed–I attempted to pass along to those parents or teach their children. Through their wisdom, parents and children often taught me. Trust me, as a parent, I needed to follow their advice, or my own…but didn’t always do so.
Alright, here you go:
• Don’t expect to get anything for nothing, and you won’t be disappointed.
• Anything worth having is worth working for.
• Celebrate being an American. By virtue of that alone, you’ve won life’s lottery.
• Practice your faith religiously. Your child is watching…and learning.
• Turn off all screens at family meals.
• Go outside and play. You’ll have a lifetime to sit in front of a screen.
• Be socially color blind.
• Be your child’s parent, not his or her friend.
• It’s okay to let your child experience failure. In the real world, that’s called “life.”
• Don’t live vicariously through your children.
• Don’t imitate a helicopter.
• The overwhelming majority of children will never be professional athletes. Get over it.
• Teach your child respect for his/her educational opportunities and teachers.
• Let your child see you reading.
• Give your child books…and a library card.
• Eat healthy, exercise, and get adequate sleep.
• Your weight is a reflection of calories consumed and calories burned. Don’t overthink it.
• Failing to plan is planning to fail.
• Teach the importance of convictions, and the evil of judgment.
• Don’t let busyness be a sin you create for yourself. It’s an awful burden.
• College isn’t for everyone. A trade is an honorable profession.
• Always give or pay back what you borrow.
• Look people in the eye when talking to them.
• Your handshake should be as trustworthy as a written contract.
• Don’t sweat the small stuff.
• It’s almost all small stuff…thankfully!
• Practice gratitude.
There are many, many more. Please leave a comment listing some of yours!
8 Comments
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Ok, I will!
From my Dad- 1. “Pay yourself first”. My Dad amassed a small fortune, even though he was a blue collar worker and
raised five kids. Be a saver!
2. “You bleed nice!”. How can a kid cry, when Dad seems actually excited about your injury? Hey, it
worked.
3. “Do as I say, not as I do.” Sometime that worked.
4. “To each, their own”. Unless he didn’t like it…
5. “Why buy the cow”.. you know the rest. His wisdom for our teenage years. Ha!My parents let us suffer our own failures. Four out of five of us owned their own business. Being independent was expected. I miss my Dad. The guy who road his bike off Carmel Rd. in cutoff shorts, no shirt, brown knee socks and gym shoes. He was in his 70’s. You get the picture. You just had to like this guy.
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Always be kind and happy is as happy does!
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Add to your second point “… and will have to be defended.”
“Don’t send a duck to Eagle school.”
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My mother told my brother and me whenever we complained about our jobs, starting in our teenage years, “ALL work is honorable, no matter how low on the “totem pole” it seems to you”. Also, the Scout Law is a meaningful guide for all of us.
A Scout is:TRUSTWORTHY. Tell the truth and keep promises. People can depend on you.
LOYAL. Show that you care about your family, friends, Scout leaders, school, and country.
HELPFUL. Volunteer to help others without expecting a reward.
FRIENDLY. Be a friend to everyone, even people who are very different from you.
COURTEOUS. Be polite to everyone and always use good manners.
KIND. Treat others as you want to be treated. Never harm or kill any living thing without good reason.
OBEDIENT. Follow the rules of your family, school, and pack. Obey the laws of your community and country.
CHEERFUL. Look for the bright side of life. Cheerfully do tasks that come your way. Try to help others be happy.
THRIFTY. Work to pay your own way. Try not to be wasteful. Use time, food, supplies, and natural resources wisely.
BRAVE. Face difficult situations even when you feel afraid. Do what you think is right despite what others might be doing or saying.
CLEAN. Keep your body and mind fit. Help keep your home and community clean.
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Tim , these are great. They are all words of wisdom . I love the quote you mentioned, “ Anything worth having is worth working for”.
Two of my favorites that I had in my office at work for years are:
“ Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely”. The other is , “ The smallest good deed is better than the grandest good intention “. Thanks for sharing your list Tim. -
There is never time to do it right but, always time to do it over.
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Love all of your bromides, Tim – excellent! Here are a few from my growing years from two awesome parents. My dad was the 10th of 12 children whose parents had 3rd grade educations but tons of “horse sense”. All of their kids finished high school and some form of higher education. They taught us lots of life lessons well. Miss them so much!
“If you think you can’t, you’re right. If you think you can, you will.”
“The cow can’t milk itself.” (in other words, get up early and get to work! Don’t make the cow
suffer!)
“Any job worth doing is worth doing well. ” (in other words, give every job your “all”, and no job is
too small)
“Always treat others as you would want to be treated.”
“Respect authority and adults – always!”There were a lot more, and many of your bromides were constants in our home as well. Love this blog!
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Thanks for your words of wisdom concerning the state of our Country. You have really given me some things to ponder before voting this time.
Ok, I will!
From my Dad- 1. “Pay yourself first”. My Dad amassed a small fortune, even though he was a blue collar worker and
raised five kids. Be a saver!
2. “You bleed nice!”. How can a kid cry, when Dad seems actually excited about your injury? Hey, it
worked.
3. “Do as I say, not as I do.” Sometime that worked.
4. “To each, their own”. Unless he didn’t like it…
5. “Why buy the cow”.. you know the rest. His wisdom for our teenage years. Ha!
My parents let us suffer our own failures. Four out of five of us owned their own business. Being independent was expected. I miss my Dad. The guy who road his bike off Carmel Rd. in cutoff shorts, no shirt, brown knee socks and gym shoes. He was in his 70’s. You get the picture. You just had to like this guy.
Always be kind and happy is as happy does!
Add to your second point “… and will have to be defended.”
“Don’t send a duck to Eagle school.”
My mother told my brother and me whenever we complained about our jobs, starting in our teenage years, “ALL work is honorable, no matter how low on the “totem pole” it seems to you”. Also, the Scout Law is a meaningful guide for all of us.
A Scout is:
TRUSTWORTHY. Tell the truth and keep promises. People can depend on you.
LOYAL. Show that you care about your family, friends, Scout leaders, school, and country.
HELPFUL. Volunteer to help others without expecting a reward.
FRIENDLY. Be a friend to everyone, even people who are very different from you.
COURTEOUS. Be polite to everyone and always use good manners.
KIND. Treat others as you want to be treated. Never harm or kill any living thing without good reason.
OBEDIENT. Follow the rules of your family, school, and pack. Obey the laws of your community and country.
CHEERFUL. Look for the bright side of life. Cheerfully do tasks that come your way. Try to help others be happy.
THRIFTY. Work to pay your own way. Try not to be wasteful. Use time, food, supplies, and natural resources wisely.
BRAVE. Face difficult situations even when you feel afraid. Do what you think is right despite what others might be doing or saying.
CLEAN. Keep your body and mind fit. Help keep your home and community clean.
Tim , these are great. They are all words of wisdom . I love the quote you mentioned, “ Anything worth having is worth working for”.
Two of my favorites that I had in my office at work for years are:
“ Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely”. The other is , “ The smallest good deed is better than the grandest good intention “. Thanks for sharing your list Tim.
There is never time to do it right but, always time to do it over.
Love all of your bromides, Tim – excellent! Here are a few from my growing years from two awesome parents. My dad was the 10th of 12 children whose parents had 3rd grade educations but tons of “horse sense”. All of their kids finished high school and some form of higher education. They taught us lots of life lessons well. Miss them so much!
“If you think you can’t, you’re right. If you think you can, you will.”
“The cow can’t milk itself.” (in other words, get up early and get to work! Don’t make the cow
suffer!)
“Any job worth doing is worth doing well. ” (in other words, give every job your “all”, and no job is
too small)
“Always treat others as you would want to be treated.”
“Respect authority and adults – always!”
There were a lot more, and many of your bromides were constants in our home as well. Love this blog!
Thanks for your words of wisdom concerning the state of our Country. You have really given me some things to ponder before voting this time.